5. Electronic Documents Should Be Straightforward

• Avoid "marketese"
  • Click here to see the best web site ever!  You won't be sorry!
    (Users detest this kind of writing.  They end up mistrusting the web page, even feeling insulted by the writer.)
    
    
• Avoid pompous and overblown language.

Pompous	Straightforward
At this point in time...	Now...
Due to the fact that...	Because...
It is important to note that...	[cut entirely]
From X, it can be seen that Y is the case.	X proves Y.



• Don't hide behind words.  Say what you mean.
  • At this point, the management would like to offer its most sincere sympathies for any inconvenience that might have been caused by the recent, brief network incident.  Our valuable customers should rest assured that we remain committed to offering reliability and affordability blah blah blah...
    (If this is supposed to make amends to customers who have suffered a great inconvenience, it is a sorry attempt.)
  • We regret the inconvenience caused by the server crash -- we hate being locked out of the network just as much as you do.  The upgrade should be completed by Monday morning.
    (The informality and directness of this passage is more believable -- a reader would tend to believe that this writer actually did feel bad about the "incident.")

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